we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
last night I used snow as a chaser
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize