so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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