my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
