yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
