Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
