If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
