Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
