I think I am morally bankrupt
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
