just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
