the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
