Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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