You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
