Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
