No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
