If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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