it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize