quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
