Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
