only if we run a train.
done.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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