I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
