I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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