evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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