i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize