Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
