We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
