I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
