I want to have your abortion
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
