why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
