I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
