I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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