I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
