hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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