those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And then my night got REAL pukey
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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