Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize