So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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