Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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