Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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