will power is for people who don't want to get laid
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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