you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
