I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
