Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
