I don't think brook has ever known best
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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