Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize