I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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