I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
