hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
