It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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