Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
