he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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