Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
