I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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