ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize