Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize