if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
