I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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