Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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